Monday, August 3, 2009

#14 The Lop-Sided Gender Ratio

Not long ago an academic named Richard Florida made a small ruckus by scientifically proving that the San Francisco Bay Area (along with L.A.) was the best place in the country to be a single woman. He based his finding mostly on data that men here are rich (at least richer, on the mean, than men from any other major metropolitan area) and outnumber single women by about 65,000.

Florida didn't seem to correct for sexual orientation, the favorite straw-man of disgruntled spinsters, but even so the underlying data wasn't really controvertible. It wasn't even new. In 2004 the research firm Teasley published findings that ranked San Francisco as the best place to find a rich, single man in the United States, as measured by San Francisco’s single male "Golden Ratio" of 140%, and specifically accounting for the large percentage of gays (which according to the most reliable figures is considerably less than people tend to believe at about 15%). Similarly a 2004 article in the magazine San Francisco estimated that unmarried straight 20 to 44-year-old men in San Francisco (not including Silicon Valley or Man Jose) outnumbered their female counterparts by about 12,000.

Yet two anecdotal curiosities give us pause: first, an informal study of male opinion and the SF night-life scene describes a ratio that is FAR worse than even the data suggests. Second, and more puzzling, there is widely-shared belief among females that very few eligible/desirable men live in San Francisco.

A study published in in 2007 by two English psychologists (who are better known for a different study that showed the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms may shed some light. The study looked at marriage patterns in the United States and an interesting trend appeared: unbalanced gender ratios did not seem to problematize proportionally. The research showed that as the sex ratio augmented in favor of women, at first, as you would expect, the women simply turned fussy and went for richer and more powerful men. But at a certain point a curious thing happened: the amount of socioeconomic status a guy needed to get girl increased way more than the math would predict. Specifically when the ratio was tilted in favor of women by 10%, low status men became not 1.1 times less likely to get a girl but 2.3 times less likely and high status men 1.3 times less likely.

In other words, increase the number of males in a system too much and the number of females interested in pairing up GOES DOWN, due to some mysterious psychological trigger. Women won't pick and choose, they won't choose at all. They abandon the enterprise. Romance dies. Society crumbles. Imagine a bar with 100 girls and 100 guys. The bouncer admits 10 more guys and competitively speaking it's as if, for the low status guys, 130 guys walked into the room (and for the high status guys, 30 guys). The bar might as well close for the night. That bar, friends, is San Francisco.


  1. Perhaps the problem is that you are looking for girls and not women? I know, that's a very San Francisco Woman way to respond.

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  2. Might you also consider how many men in San Francisco are married to their work already, and not looking for love at all?

  3. Heh, as we used to say at Carnegie Mellon, "The odds are good but the goods are odd."

    But seriously, "mysterious psychological reaction" when the number of males significantly increases? In my experience, when the number of males significantly increases in a social/work/educational situation, many straight men either revert to age 13 and start acting like getting women is like winning a video game, or they treat dating like interviewing for a job. There's nothing mysterious about finding that unappealing. Ever been to an all-male LAN party?

  4. One might reasonably think any of those things...but they're not really the case.

  5. Where did that picture come from? The jacket the guy in the front row is wearing is AMAZING.

  6. I agree with Ann about heavily unbalanced gender ratios just being a weird dynamic where I, at least, have felt like I'm just the token women now -- women don't necessarily want a "mate." They want to find a partner who appreciates them for them and not because they are one of the 4 people in the room with boobs and a vag. These kinds of women are also usually the ones who make their own money and don't mind if the guy makes less or not much more as long as he's not a leech.

    Alternate theory -- if you really did have some sort of status pursuit dynamic where you had ladies flocking to get rich guys in SF, then maybe as the number of men goes up, each status-chasing woman thinks "Well, the ratio is so in my favor. I should hold out for the 'best' catch" and becomes picker. Just a theory.

    but there are lots of good reasons to believe that findings on dating in the UK don't necessarily apply to US and more specifically SF hippie-inflected dating.

  7. All this may be true. But there are forces on the opposite side of the equation as well.

    Being a place that attracts high-achieving people from all over the world, the Bay Area has a high percentage, in my informal observation, of incredibly hot, smart and shall we say cosmopolitan women. There may be fewer of them, but they are amazing. So the men become choosier too. Kansas-schooled creationists need not apply.

    1. The men are choosier want you to be D and B rated and not really worth it. This area has highest number alcoholics other than DC. the divorce rate was sky high 70%in Silicon Valley, in the 90's when I left.

      Hollywood stays together longer. Yet all the PHD's .SOMETHONG IS REAL WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE,

  8. I'm struggling with "high percentage" being followed up with "there may be fewer of them".

  9. You could have been out trying to meet girls instead of writing a blog post mathematically proving why you can't girls where you live.

    To me, it just seems like a case of "external attribution error." Its real, look it up.

    Maybe it just seems that way, but its not impossible to get a date just because you (and everyone you surround yourself with) can't seem to get one.

    I've seen plenty of exposure from the "hacker" lifestyle that has become a post-collegiate breeding ground for budding entrepreneurs, one almost indistinguishable from the next (which now creates a "buyer's market" for VC funds, but that is a different story).

    I can imagine a group of socially well-adjusted guys hanging out in San Francisco with all of their attractive or otherwise desirable counterparts, unaware that their city is rationing pussy.

    I understand the odds are stacked against you guys up there, but whining about it certainly isn't going to help. This you know. But mentally masterbating about it on the internet is almost more dangerous because its deceptively playing the part as something constructive.

    There are guys in SF I know personally that go out to clubs and meet new high-quality women every weekend. Are they loaded? No, the guy makes less than I do. HES JUST NOT HUNG UP ON IT.

    Stop licking eachother's wounds and start calling each other out to man up.

    Merely my $0.02

  10. For the number of unattractive "liberated" women in the area, you get what you get. Enjoy your life with cats.

  11. It's because by far and large, the guys in the Bay Area are total dorks and Asian fetishists. Yuck.

  12. we become Asian fetishists because that's 30-40% of the "market", so we better like asians if we want to get girls at all. Plus I must say that most of the time they are very sweet and nice:)
    Everytime I go to LA or NY, I meet a ton of beautiful girl in a few days, I've been in SF for 2 years, and struggle to even get one number of a decent looking girl, and yes, I am going to move cause I am tired of this(I answer to that before someone makes the comment).

    - One guy in the Bay area who loves this blog, keep it up Samuel!

    1. I agree the SF bay area has some of the most unattractive men and woman. Lots of PHD's but its rough to talk to some and look at others. Even a mid western mother made that comment.

      having said that its true beauty is more than skin deep. One the shortest average looking guys I know married 40 years is my uncle a dentist and a great guy. Even the family bad boys like him.
      You know my cute cheerleader aunt who almost passed him up? He wasn't the height she was after.

      Well she's not so cute anymore but they are one happy couple.

      By the way he's a good communicater. Ditto her.

    2. "we become Asian fetishists because that's 30-40% of the "market", so we better like asians if we want to get girls at all." - probably the same reason applies vice versa, why asian girls date white guys. I'm sure if they had more asian males available where they live, especially from a better gene pool, they'd stick to their own race.

  13. Beer drinking party guys figured this out way before science and gave it a fitting label.

    "Sausage Party"

    Men instinctively know that when they walk into one, no one is getting laid around here.

  14. Well straight men anyway...

  15. Whine, whine, whine.

    "200-300% less likely"
    Methinks the author needs to take grade school math again. For all x, 100% less likely is 0.

  16. "the guys in the Bay Area are total dorks and Asian fetishists. Yuck"

    Asian-Americans are 33% of San Francisco. It's not that "we better like asians if we want to get girls at all". It's that 1/3 of the girls we grew up with are Asian-Americans. If you knew 6 jaw-droppingly hot girls in high school, 2 of them were Asian. The beautiful girls you knew when you went through puberty have a huge effect on your idea of beauty later in life.

    Asking why San Franciscans like Asian girls is like asking why guys who grew up in Tokyo like Asian girls: they're the hotties we grew up with.

  17. My Friend. You are an absolute genius. You have put into words what I haven't been able to for my 2 years after moving here. This absoluate insanity where I see my good looking successful friends, getting rejected by 5's is just insane. And its time someone spoke up. This was genius and I give you mad mad props. I would love to invite you out with my buddies and pick your brain. Absolute genius.

    1. Or maybe they just don't want to date guys who publicly describe women as a scale of 1-10.

    2. Nailed it! LOL!

  18. I've got another one for your next blog post. ASIANS (No racism intended). But there are a ton of asian chicks in SF, most of my friends are not into them but there are so many of them. And that makes the competition for other girls that much more difficult.

  19. @ The guy who said they were into asians because they grew up in the bay area and thats what you are used to/grew up with during puberty. False.

    By that token, white girls should be into asian guys, and anyone with their right mind knows that that's the farthest thing from the truth.

  20. Dear Impotent Blogger: I just looked up the statistics and apparently 62.3% of SF men are total pussies with no game who would rather write blogs than have sex. For the remainder of us who do know how to talk to women, SF is pure heaven.

    Dear Women of SF: I love you sweet delicious honey babies and look forward to many more amazing nights together.

  21. hahaha ... nobody on this list got it right! why? because theres no such things as certainty in this life no matter where u live.

    my advice to all you losers are.....take action when you see it. 3 second rule. do it now!

  22. Pretty funny blog. I just came across it. I only lived in the Bay Area for a little while, but I grew up and still live in NYC. How about #34, Silicon Valley, because every electrical and computer or software engineer is a guy.

  23. Like those who get the best grades in college tend to complain the most to professors about grading policy, those who date the best looking and smartest women tend to discuss (not necessarily complain about) regional dating idiosyncrasies and relative difficulties of getting a friendly hello or conversation going.

    To succeed at dating gorgeous women anywhere in the world, even the best looking, richest and smartest of Silicon Valley men will have to approach a certain number of women with whom it will immediately not click. That number, quantifiable, is probably higher in the Bay Area than most places on Earth.

    Why? While it is true that a 1.3:1 men-women ratio causes women to not want men at all (irrational human nature phenomenon) what is going on in the Bay Area is that non-man-friendly ideologues hold sway and have given the locals the false idea that the rich good looking men of Silicon Valley somehow outnumber women as if rich good looking, intelligent, personable, socially adept guys GROW ON TREES.

    The ideologues worst strategy is to imply that these rare men (yes, even in Mountain View you will find more surfer dudes than geniuses) have no other OPTIONS but to date in that dry swamp. They use shaming tactics to say, for instance, that a millionaire from Palo Alto who easily flies to Moscow on 4 day weekend is somehow going to be dating (Marxists say "exploiting") an "inferior" woman (regardless of her high IQ, her beauty and the fact that her parent's Moscow apartment is now worth $2Million) than he could find back in the dry swamp and they use racially repugnant phrases like "mail order bride" to belittle serious highly educated competition (think female Sergei Brins).

    They've created a false scarcity of women in the Bay Area by pretending that airplanes don't exist, that the best men don't have money and that a "real man" wouldn't date the competition.

    Heck...when I was making six figures in Mountain View, I dated a few Stanford coeds, but I also used to drive to LA or Reno on off-weekends to meet even better women when I wasn't flying to Europe on a 4 day weekend. I wasn't turned on by the false attitude in the Bay Area that my type somehow grew on trees.

    The ideologues' most successful shaming tactic is to get would-be machos like Scott above or Bill OReilly of Fox News to say "quit your whining" and openly declare that "real men can take it" (OReilly's favorite phrase when referring to anti-male cultural trends). But, unless a man really lucked out and is totally committed to a great local woman, the kind of man who "wants to take it" from a society that is willfully *pretending* the odds are stacked against him, is either a wimp or doesn't have the money to go anywhere on weekends but Golden Gate Park.

    These male apologists have no concept of the opportunity cost of a weekend in SF vs a weekend somewhere else. Often because they haven't traveled (or because they fit in with Marxist locals) they disregard any *relative* difficulties of the area's social scene and THEREBY perpetuate the artificial mindset that rich good looking intelligent guys are somehow in abundance and thus (according to the above irrational law of human nature) deserve to be totally ignored.

    You don't have to fly away on weekends to make the Bay Area a better place to just have to make it so everyone KNOWS that this is what the best men actually DO so that everyone accepts the reality that the male:female ratio MUST include any highly educated women who are datable within reach of a 4 day weekend's travel itinerary.

    1. This illustrates the beta male mentality that exemplified by most bay area men. Women want alphas. In SF the women are strong and the men are pretty. These strong women need more alphas, and if you are online kvetching about dating, or feel the need to poach from other pools because your game isn't strong enough in your local pool then you are definitely not alpha!!

  24. Perhaps this is a manifestation of the Paradox of Choice.

  25. Would like to see a Silicon Valley millionaire fund an organization that can fight the false mythology that great Silicon Valley men grow on trees. Most of the work of the organization would be in convincing men themselves to stand up for themselves in their own minds. I've had 50 year old multi-millionaires tell me they'd be terrified to date a woman under 40 because they feared eventual rejection. That's what ideologues want 50 year old men to worry about (they literally preach "You're worthless except for your money. No young woman would really want you").

    Never mind that he was smart enough to found Acme Elektrosoft and sell it for $40M.

    Heck, I've heard American 25 year old men say that 22 year old women are all "too young" for them while everyone celebrates Madonna with a guy 30 years younger. This kind of talk is the result of ideological brainwashing. It is abnormal.

    Regarding "Marxist locals"...the hippie families of Santa Cruz and Marin County can be wonderful where they've raised some fabulous young women who aren't jaded like so many who came to SF from "out of state".

    True Bay Area locals can be great. But they actually are scarce.

  26. "By that token, white girls should be into asian guys, and anyone with their right mind knows that that's the farthest thing from the truth."

    Granted, I don't live in SF (another large west-coast city with a very high Asian-American population). But IME it does indeed work both ways.

    Put another way: if white guys went after Asian girls, and Asian guys went after Asian girls, and white girls *didn't* go for Asian guys, we'd have a massive surplus of white single girls. Empirically, that isn't happening: we would then have the *opposite* of the originally proposed situation, i.e., white guys would have to date white girls out of necessity.

  27. What a guy says: "There are no women in location xyz"

    Reality: "I have trouble meeting women. I'd have trouble meeting women anywhere."

    I'm a male who graduated from an engineering school with an extremely lopsided ratio. I then served as an officer in the military where the ratio was even more lopsided. In both places I was surrounded by guys who complained incessantly about the lack of women. I never had a problem getting dates, and I'm just an average looking guy. Maybe the fact that I didn't spend my time whining, and instead took the time to get to know women as friends had something to do with it?

    When you strike the guys who are standing around waiting for women to throw themselves at them, the male/female ratio is almost never a problem.

  28. It's not just Bay Area men who have an Asian fetish. It's men everywhere. I didn't say all men. It's just more noticeable in the Bay Area because there are so many Asians here.

    At one fairly science-heavy company I worked at, 90% of the male staff were married to Asians. And people ask us why we "exclusively" date Asians. Duh, because we are married to her... yeah, that's kind of exclusive, right? What did you want me to do, date outside my marriage, just to make you feel more comfortable that I am not being "exclusive?" Yes, I still get asked this question by people who know I am married. And it is clear that these people are forming their alarmist opinions by looking at people who are, guess what, married.

    As to the discrepancy in male/female pairing choices, I suspect it's due to traditional roles of the male as the instigator in relationships, and first-generation Americans who are doing the instigating (Asian males) being less comfortable approaching non-Asian women, while second-and-higher generation Americans, which includes many Asians by the way (but disproportionately more whites), being just fine with approaching any kind of women. But who cares? It's their business. Let people live their lives, OK?

  29. I'm reasonably average and I've never had better luck with women in any other city.

    I talked to a random girl on the subway the day before I left for home and she caught a plane to visit me less than a week later.

    This. Is. Crap.

    Be a genuine human anywhere and you'll do fine.

  30. I've had more success with dating in SF than in LA even though in LA I worked at a modeling agency and was surrounded by girls all day long. I think it was because I was more "alpha" in SF and was very well connected and people respected me as a photographer. Down in LA photographers are a dime a dozen.

  31. As a twenty-something single female living in SF, I'd just like to throw in my $.02 and say that I'd like to know where all these single males are... I'm obviously hanging out in all the wrong places as I'm having the worst dating luck and I don't care about money.

    What I do care about is that the guy in question is interested in me, would care about me, and is willing to grow up and take the next step in a relationship if it works out. I think that's the biggest issue, women are looking for men who can commit, not men who just want to date around and bro out. Maybe if all these single men would grow up and stop acting like frat boys, maybe they'd meet someone worth dating? just a thought...

  32. Rebutting your article point by point:

    1. You can't be serious comparing this city to LA, NY. SF is a tiny 49 sq mile city with only 800,000 that's 33% Asian and 15% gay.

    2. In light of that statistic, and with the other comments, lots and lots of Asian girls. Every variety of them too from FOB (fresh off the boat) to the Born/been here.

    3. In that of the afformentioned and to your post overall, there are also lots and lots of Asian guys here. Remember, Asian society values males more than girls. Go to China, Korea, India, and etc and Males outnumber Women 10 to 1. And as far as immigrantion is concerned, Males come here first to work and then bring in the family later. You see the same thing in the Silli Valley with all of the Indian and Pakistani workers.

    4. What kinds of girls are you looking for? Hipsters? Yuppies? Hippie? Black? Latina? Midwestern Transplant? European transplant? WHO?

    5. It seems you are one of those neurortic White guys who are afraid of ethnic girls because there are plenty of cool, down to Earth and single Asian, Black, Latino, Filipina girls living here, but you being the neurotic white guy can't/don't wanna handle "attitude" and "family"?

    6. Being as small SF is, whats wrong with Bridge and Tunnel and generally leaving town to find something? Presently dating someone from the East Bay (Martinez, about 45 mins away, but moved here) as all of her friends from there are equally gorgegous to cute. I've seen some good catches in Walnut Creek to San Jose (though mostly Latina) to cute DC Filipina chicks because the sun shines freely there over fog laden SF, so they better take care of themselves. Or are you one of those neurotic, "swear by SF" people that never EVER leave SF, or leave the part of SF above Dolores Park, and then wonder why "there are no chicks?"

    7. Like the previous comment above, i've met, and know lots of women like her here that voice the same complaint: "where da men at?" Want me to hook you up?

    8. Of course LA, NY, and etc has better looking girls! Every occur that LA is the Entertainment capital of the world, while NY the same for Finance, Media, Fashion and are 100x wealthier than SF? OF COURSE that will act as a magnet for the world's sexiest women. You have to dress well to be seen because said person could be or is trying to be a model/CEO/Actor/etc. SF on the other hand is a quiet, tourist trap, Fog laden backwater.

    As some of the others have told you already, get off the computer, stop whining, expand your horizon beyond SF and beyond SF White Girls (which ones BTW) and you'll see girls everywhere.

  33. The author is not "whining" which by the way is a standard word that the anti-male type of feminist wants male lackeys to say on all kinds of subjects, but rather talking of a scientific phenomenon that makes women, anywhere and in general, get less friendly when a meme tells them that great hetero men are a dime a dozen.

    This is why bars have Ladies Nights. It is the kiss of death for men to outnumber women at most any social event in the world.

    Men who discuss the concept of ratios and ideologies changing female behavior in different regions are often those who are doing best, even in SF, just like the best college students complain about getting an A- instead of an A while the C students couldn't care less what grade they got.

    In order to really succeed, you have to understand what you are dealing with. Those guys who think this kind of discussion is stupid are saying they want to wing it. The guys who wing it do more poorly than the guys who buy books on how to meet women. One might think otherwise but its true.

    I know a lot of guys who complain about "whiners" are unhappily married or dating a shrew who controls them with similar admonishments. These are the guys who vote for politicians who rag on men.

    These are often the type of guy who doesn't believe he can get laid unless he appears to agree with what he thinks women want him to say about any subject (especially politics).

    The woman above shows that it is a lie that eligible bachelors outnumber eligible women in the area...but she should be wondering why the culture of the area says otherwise.

    The SF culture implies that RARE Silicon Valley professional males who want to commit are not great catches to be found by women heading for Palo Alto fitness clubs and tennis courts on weekends.

    Many women in the Bay Area will flock to a restaurant if they hear the A's or Giants are going to be there.

    They need to do the same for Silicon Valley tech events and fitness centers if they are not brainwashed to disrepect the type in the first place, which is what I put forth is sadly the case in the main SF subculture.

    Women ultimately choose men, not the other way around. They do so by putting themselves in position for the man to approach them.

    The lack of SF women at Stanford tech events speaks volumes about what they've been told to value.

  34. I have lived in Chicago and Los Angeles for extended periods of time and appreciate the guys in the Bay area. I have never had trouble finding a guy to date in any of the places I have lived but out here is the first time I have actually enjoyed dating. Men are polite, caring, and generally interested in getting to know you better. It is a wonderful experience to be around men and not boys who know how to take a girl out. I can't say there isn't a bit of social ackwardness but I prefer that to cocky (but insecure) men I have met in other parts of the country. Bay area guys, keep going out there and don't give up! Attractive woman are tired of going on lousy dates too. I have a dozens of girlfriends of mine saying they might just move out here because of how great the guys are out here.

    My girlfriends know pick-up artist but in a city where the girl to guy ratio is reversed, often, it is pure desperation that woman are talking to these guys. There are no nice guys around (or they are nice and someone told them girls like to be treated badly)! Thus their exodus just wait... the ratio may change..

  35. WTANGISF appreciates the trenchant, often humorous commentary. A short note to some of the (not unwelcome) haters: WTANGISF does not really contend there are absolutely 0 females in San Francisco nor that #13 Full House and #6 Matthew McConaughey, for example, are factual causes of such a phenomenon. These are instead exaggerations, based on the somewhat strange (and anecdotally based) contradiction that SF men AND SF women alike consider SF a bad city for dating and intended to amuse and delight its readership, for whom WTANGISF wishes nothing but loveliness.

  36. It does seem to me like the tech sector has a not-unnoticeable impact on the SF dating scene. Computer folks are overwhelmingly male (just look at graduation rates from CS programs, few are < 60-70% male), and therefore these tech folks tend to dominate parties/etc and can afford to live in SF proper... I don't have any numbers to back this up, though.

  37. snodgrass you polarizing genius. your insights are interesting and broach a topic many are uncomfortable discussing or are quick to brush off as a "you just can't get a date" problem.

    more rigorous statistics would help prove your points and corroborate all the colloquial hearsay about dating scenes in SF, NY, and LA. Here's some numbers to start:

    you seem like a smart person, do some math, make some graphs, and silence the doubtful with evidence.

  38. Men who are critical of SF could easily be those doing more rejecting than getting rejected. It is a quirk of human nature, however, that women will work hard to reject first if they think it is likely to happen.

    Also, let's remember that most people who think they are disagreeing with others here are talking apples and oranges...talking past each other.

    Ever see the film "Logan's Run"? It showed that 20 something men could have a great time in a given place but he will be put to death on his 30th birthday. That film was a commentary on Southern California in the early 70s I think, but maybe it was a commentary on SF...I'd have to research that.

    A 37 year old Democrat male with an artsy career who is politically correct and wants to date women 35-50 is going to do well in SF.

    A 37 year old libertarian male working in high tech management and wanting to date women 18-27 is going to have a much harder time...but he will still do well, especially if he lies about his age.

    A 37 year old Republican male would have already jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge so he's not part of this equation.

    Who of the above would you expect to complain?

    That's correct. The 2nd guy.

    Whom would you call successful?

    That depends, but most men who slander other men here as "whiners" would have their tongues hanging out if the 2nd guy (who might post critical comments about SF) walked by hand in hand with a full-figured 22 year old in a mini-skirt.

    He'd still have every right to come on this blog and criticize SF.

    Success in dating totally depends on whom you want to date, and this differs widely between men. Nobody in any given place needs to tell you that you are being "unrealistic" if you know you can date whom you want somewhere else.

    1. A 37-year old male with an artsy career in SF is unlikely to be able to afford to leave his apartment after paying the rent. He isn't going to be meeting anyone.

  39. Also, phrases like "I'm looking for a guy who will commit" and "my friends back home date pick-up artists because there aren't enough guys to go around" are symptoms of the very idea that there are supposedly enough good guys to go around in SF that a woman in SF can get maybe too picky on what that actually means.

    So a woman can write here that she loves dating in SF but her behavior could still come across to men like she's a spoiled kid in a candy store who's already eaten too much and is now sick of candy. ;-)

    A woman who really likes meeting new nice guys (and isn't sick of them) will not just give them curt answers and walk on when the guys ask them for directions on the street (they are probably trying to meet her).

    She might also show some of the following interest in meeting men:

    1) attend Commonwealth Club events and actually stick around afterwards to meet others
    2) if you go to the Cornerstone Church you will actually stick around after the service and eat cake and coffee
    3) not sit with your friends in the corner of a bar in North Beach with your back turned to the male strangers who peek in before walking away turned off by the body language

    Men have no choice but to approach women, most often in public or at public events. There isn't much difference between what almost all men *must* do and what the mythical "pick up artist" does. But anti-male ideology will say its bad for men to try to meet women they don't already know. They note that Ted Bundy (gasp) tried to meet women he didn't know. I've even seen the ideologues say that women should only give their email addresses to men they are interested in (because its technically possible to communicate now that way). Men are however advised not to accept just an email address from someone who has been friendly and talked for more than 10 minutes. That is just silly paranoia or lack of interest.

    Defining a man who would "commit" can also be abused. I have heard young women say they define this as such: "if he is over 30 it means he wasn't able to commit to anyone so he needs to be rejected for that reason".

    Smart guys may have read the above comment about the woman's friends finding it hard to meet men back home...and wanted to know where that woman came from! ;-)

  40. 1. Any guy who's the least bit successful with the ladies has better things to do than talk smac on this blog. So enough about the whiners.

    2. There's a much higher percentage of asian women dating (marrying) white men thn there are white men dating (marrying) asian women, so if either group has a fetish it's the asian women.

    3. It's true that the east coast has a higher percentage of women than men, and the west coast has a higher percentage of men than women. But San Francisco flouts the rule. The male/female ratio of San Francisco residents is 51%/49%. The The big overabundance of single men that makes the bay area as unbalanced as the rest of the west is in Silicon Valley.

    1. I agree, the dumb shits on here that love to try to put other men down to boost their own pathetic egos are hypocritically "whining about the whiners." Liars like that really have some growing up to do. An actual guy who is successful with women would have no need to come on a blog running his mouth. He would be out playing sports, hanging with friends, exercising, working, going to music events, etc.

  41. You know, what thet earlier poster was referring to as treating "getting women like winning a video game" -- you guys are doing that right now by referring to potentially dateable people as '5's or 'asians' or by mercilessly putting people into categories and statistics. News flash: this level of superficialness is not sexy. I would not date anyone as superficial as you folks. Everyone is different, and sexual attractiveness does *gasp* vary within a cultural backround! Maybe you would all have better luck if you attempted to make a sincere connection with someone as a human being instead of treating them like a resume.

  42. Science is not supposed to be about political correctness nor is the scientist supposed to come to certain conclusions or decide whether to study something or not based on whether he's going to get laid or not for doing so.

    See why 99% of the comments here have to be anonymous for that very reason?

    It shouldn't be that US men have to worry about that...and its dangerous because it has pussified our society in that no man wants to put his name to standing up to new feminist laws, especially the male politicians whose names are out there when they vote.

    The (thankfully dying) media, recognizing that 80% of purchases were made by women (men don't like to shop), has stifled serious discussion of such matters because sponsors were worried that some women would get angry and boycott their products. Bill OReilly of Fox News tries to ingratiate himself with "strong women" by saying now and then that "strong men can handle" any anti-male cultural memes. Rupert Murdoch is a very strange bird.

    I can't wait until the death of the regular media.

    What has to take its place, however, are pro-male blog networks that work to make the Bay Area a better environment for males.

    Silicon Valley millionaires need to think about funding a pro-male organization to compete against NOW. They can promote the idea that good men are really scarce and, therefore, no woman should reject some clean cut well-showered guy for just trying to say hello on the street.

    Now in defense of SF, Moscow and Kiev are quickly becoming as mean-spirited as the streets of San Francisco. Its not anything American men did (their reputation was not damaged nor did US feminist hatred of Americans who go to Russia transfer to the Russian mind). What happened is that the air, food and water has reached western levels of quality and nobody really wants to leave anymore. A new generation of good looking confident local men has given women 18-25 a sense of abundance...which causes the same type of behavior as in SF.

    It doesn't stop good men...what it really means is that women hairdressers and cashiers will no longer consider dating an educated American businessman - only upper middle class women will consider him now. That is universal reality.

    Here is what scientists know:

    1) Men's DNA wants to get out there (while smart modern men want to block the DNA at the last second for economic reasons). They'd really like a harem if they could get away with it but most men can't conceive of that ever happening or they are like Mark Sanford. You may have noticed that the media doesn't attack polygamists directly - because the male audience might get ideas if they did - instead they try to conflate all polygamists with child molesters which is obviously a different topic but they hope men won't notice that.

    2) Women are biologically driven to find the one man who will commit while also driven to make sure he is the best in the class and IQ category she has assigned herself to. Men above that class will be rudely rejected, which explains why hairdressers don't hang around Mountain View tennis courts hoping to snare a six figure a year technologist.

    This is where you see upper middle class women above commenting "you have to pass rigorous attitude tests in order to be with me". This is alien to men because they're thinking "all you have to be is good looking in a mini skirt"

    Now I'm not putting down true fact I believe in love at first sight. Too bad the ideologues don't believe in that however. They don't women even giving out their phone numbers anymore.

    Because of new laws, marriage in the USA today is a commitment by a guy to let the government hold a sharp sword over his head. Americans live in a matriarchy or gynocracy or whatever you want to call it. Some fun places like Waikiki and Key West aren't like that...temporarily and while on vacation from the imposed reality back in the big cities.

    A fun pro-male blog culture (with a positive outlook) can maybe change the reality of the big cities as the old media dies out.

  43. I can certainly see how, as a girl, if 5 dudes are hitting on you at once you would be more likely to simply shut them all out.

  44. Right, a dumb woman would behave that way but smart women do not because that isn't logical (most men would take all 5 home). Smart women usually choose from the 5 if there is quality to choose from.

    Smart women who don't listen to the pc ideologues know that being physically attractive to the majority of men can have an expiration date like milk does. One can prolong this via exercise but one doesn't reject great members of the opposite sex when one knows that the gift of having a fabulous looking body can be taken away by nature often within months of not exercising.

    Let's say God told the one who shuts everyone out that she had 6 hours of looking like Britney Spears once did and, thereafter, would look like Pat from SNL (the androgenous character). She'd see that situation very, very differently and behave differently. Change the word hours to years and you get why so many young women smoke - they don't think it is possible that their looks and health can change and they think that 6 years is a lifetime.

    One needs to make hay while the sun shines. I am friends with smart young women who instinctively know to get the loyalty and friendship of a lot of men early on in life. They gladly give out their contact info and collect lots of guy friends. They know what they will probably look like at 40 and want to lock in the "I've known you all my adult life" loyalty from enough guys to represent insurance if their current relationship doesn't last.

    A divorced woman at 40 wants to have a bunch of guy friends who've been her loyal friends for 22 years and maybe been in love with her for 22 years. That way she can go from failed relationship to insurance policy.

    Its majorly politically incorrect to suggest that e.g. 21 year olds consider that their days of partying in discos (surrounded always by 5 of the type of men who go to discos) will be mostly over at 25 (disco retirement age) and they'd have more great guys to choose from if they got serious about finding a stable wonderful guy immediately from a pool of stable guys looking for a serious relationship.

    "Sex in the City" is partly critized because it promotes the kid in the candy store point of view and ridiculously implies that the actresses haven't already passed the prime in which men would be lining up to sleep with them.

  45. Here is a blueprint for a better San Francisco that runs along the lines of women developing friendships with men if for no other reason than to have more friends or insurance policies for later in life:

    Three years ago I was in the Stockholm train station when I asked a beautiful first year college student how I could find my train. She took me there...ten minutes out of her way. Never mind that I was a total stranger a lot older than she was.

    Then when I turned to say thank you, she said "I've never met an American before. Can we talk for awhile?" I was floored. This was from someone in a cradle to grave socialist society that didn't "need" men. We talked 30 minutes until my train left and have been penpals and have met a few times since, despite her having a boyfriend whom she expects to marry. A few minutes ago she initiated a Facebook connection. And it is all because she wants that friendship through the years.

    How often does that happen on the street in big US cities? It doesn't happen all that much with those raised in big-media markets (as opposed to Amish communities - see the film "Witness") because that media encourages paranoia and the idea that men deserve rejection because its not worth the chance that he might become a "phone stalker" calling in the middle of the night or an email stalker or something bizarre that a friend of a friend said happened to them.

    Americans actually enjoy the meme of men being "shot down". Its considered a "prudent safety measure" with strangers.

    Its not feminism itself in the US that discourages her friendly behavior because Sweden is the most feminist society on Earth and she still chose to take 35 minutes out of her busy trip home that afternoon to meet a friend for life. She's actually quite Marxist.

    I knew where that train was. Any woman can assume a guy asking directions already knows the answer. Ideologues would say I was trying to pick her up and they'd be technically correct. But she responded in her interest and its people like her that make the world such a wonderful place.

  46. The paradox of choice.

  47. When the ratio is not in equilibrium, as discussed in this blog, all the women in the food chain get hit on more frequently than they are naturally programmed for.
    As a result

    a) some girls become visibly annoyed that anywhere they go random guys will hit on them. and they always have their guard up in an impolite way.

    b) some girls get inflated egos.... AKA a "SF 49er"... a 4 who thinks she is a 9. these girls are just plain unkind to men and often unkind to other girls as well.

    c) some girls, whether intentional or subconscious, turn this into a natural selection process. these girls will give almost anyone a chance to chat them up however they need to be entertained by the suitor's wit, wealth, or sophomoric behavior... and if you run out of steam on to the next guy...

    d) and then there are standout girls in this state of disequilibrium... the ones who are still cool and still kind.

    so if those are the cards i am dealt living in San Francisco i will likely just wait it out for the standout girl.... i bet she is pretty great.

  48. Folks I work for the City and as such I am always out and about, I come across plenty of young, attractive females with seemingly no where to go and with no aim during the day.

    So it's not that there are no young attractive females populating this City, it's just that you need to be in the right places to find them. And the kicker is that they're usually alone or with their other female friends. So on your day offs feel free to peruse the following areas:

    1) Financial District
    2) Union / Chestnut St
    3) Upper Fillmore
    4) Haight
    5) Soma
    6) Civic Center area

    Trust me, they're there especially on nice sunny warm days.

  49. The real solution for men is to go ABROAD! For more info:

  50. "...The wealthier the man the more frequently his partner has orgasms"

    Yeah but with who?

    was the excellent point immediately raised by my girlfriend

  51. I think if you should remove from the accounting all the SF men with Asperger's. I may be biased, but from my anecdotal experience I'd say it's around 10% of the heterosexual male population.

  52. Ha, this blog is a riot. Well done everyone!

    Re: Asian Girlfriend White Boyfriend. It's true and anyone who doesn't think so is pretending. I recently joined a dating website and guess what ethnicity most Asian girls are going for? White!! Same goes for most white girls actually...

    I also have a friend who says her NY friends told her one of the reasons they moved out here is because they heared it was easy to score a white dude.

    I'm an Asian guy and I have never dated an Asian girl. It's my experience that unless they are very traditional Asians (and therefore intentionally seeking Asian males for cultural reasons,) the Asian girls want a white guy. They're exotic, but not too exotic. Anyone read 'what white people like"? This is not rocket science.

    And white guys definitely have a fetish for the Asian girl. I know several white guys with Asian girlfriends. My dad is one. It's obvious. Poor Asian dude. He's just not considered a virile man. How many leading Asian actors are there who are anything close to sex symbols in American cinema? zero.............

    1. "How many leading Asian actors are there who are anything close to sex symbols in American cinema? zero............."

      You're right. But also, it's not that Asian guys are unattractive. As a matter of fact, Asian guys are pretty hot. It's the Hollywood American mentality that keeps the good looking Asian males out from their industry, in an effort to achieve this ideal that Asian guys are what you just described there. You know as being "nerdy", "shy", and not attractive or desirable as engrained in most people's minds. It seems to me that this image is a biased mentality that want to keep Asian males in a box and want them to stay there, as they don't want anyone to believe that good looking ones exist. Seriously, look up some uber hot Asian men in the Korean Hallyu wave, like Jang Guen Sug and Lee minho. You'll all be sorry!!!!!

  53. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  55. Perhaps the reason the author can't find a woman is his misogyny. It took me only two paragraphs to be turned off by him. I can only imagine what the women who actually meet him think.

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  58. San Francisco doesn't have attractive men... I remember all these hotties with Mexican blood in LA.... SF men are either gay, or have asian fetish, or are boring misogynist square engineers, or are loser hippies, or just love to treat women like trash. I really HATE men in SF bay area... sorry. I hate them and feel disgust of them... don't want to date at all since I came here. I'll be moving back to LA when I gain more experience as a software engineer...cause I don't want to live in this wasteland.

    Yes, there's some psychological effect on women in SF... when I came here I just feel I better be Gay than date neurotic pansies that are called "men" here. As to Asian men (Bay area is full of them), they're misogynist conservative women-haters, wannabe oppressors--sorry I GIVE IT TO YOU LIKE IT IS, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE! SF clubs are a waste of time and no place to find a guy (unless you want to have a 3-some with 2 gay dudes which I'm not into). Oh LA clubs were full of attractive people, who were good dancers.... and str8 too, yeah. SF ain't LA, what can I say... Lots of ugly men here. Or, men who're like frozen or were hit on the head or something, no social skills...

    So, since I came here I felt I better be gay or just hang out with gay guys as friends, just to avoid judgemental squares or idiot hippies that fill this area. I'm alternative and dress the part at at the same time have pretty conservative values when it comes to dating, this apparently is a problem with str8 pple here--well, watever.

    This area just feels dead in terms of finding someone to date... I'm gonna wear rainbow unicorn hoodie everywhere from now now, fck off st8 men of SF! Viva LA, it's way more interesting and liberal and not provincial like SF..

  59. ps: Guess what people, when the article says SF women don't want to pick men even though men here outnumber them...ever guessed that it's cause they want to rather pick women (or whatever passes for a woman) instead? Cause such is the quality of "men" here, hehe.

  60. When I came to live in SF... I hit Divas SF (transsexual club) and I just didn't feel str8 ever since, I knew I can't date a man and feel good again... there's too much gay stuff going on here and it's all in the view, that's why women here don't pick men and men don't pick women, there're other routes to go...

  61. Doughy asian women and sausage parties... yep.

  62. I really wish that women in the SF Bay Area would start taking care of themselves. Hit the gym, get a tan, do your nails, wear some heels sometimes.

    While it doesn't have to be your WHOLE existence, too often, women walk around like they just don't care. Cities like NYC, LA, Wash DC, Atlanta, Miami, Vancouver, ALL have better options for good looking women.

    Ladies, start taking care of yourselves and you will find that men make more of an effort. We love beautiful women - NOT women who let themselves go & then tell us that WE are the ones who need to adjust our perspectives.

  63. There are lots of good looking women SF. The dress code is more laid back on the West Coast, and that applies to both men and women, but it doesn't mean that women are not feminine. Go to the center of the U.S. or the South East (except Miami), you'll see huge women all over... and huge men too. Many women are fit in the Bay Area. Many women are also intelligent and self-sufficient so they look for a nice, kind, respectful guy who will care for them, not a self-absorbed guy looking for a trophey. Many guys who move to the Bay Area a go-getters when it comes to their job, and believe they deserve a trophey as a girlfriend. So they are looking for younger, more beautiful women than they are. They think success can buy them a girlfriend, which it can, if they are willing to settle for woman who is not smart, capable, and self-sufficient.
    Finally guys, San Francisco and Silicon Valley are hell for tall women because most Asians and Indians are not very tall, so the dating pool for tall women really sucks.

    1. >> so the dating pool for tall women really sucks

      if a guy insisted on only dating women who are skinnier than himself, he'd be reported to the Thought Police and placed on the Public Shaming List.

      But women get away with double standards all the time, don't they?

  64. SF and Silicon Valley men are very passive. I go to NY or Chicago, and have men come up to me and chat all the time. Here I can go to a bar in SF or San Jose or Palo Alto, sit there with a girlfriend, and no guy comes to talk, and we're both thin, smart and pretty darn decent looking women. So men need to be less insecure and go talk to women.

  65. u know i try going up to chico every few weekends now n again. its got an even ratio there and the girls are decent looking. its nothing incredible, but its just like how it is in most of the country.... its's even. they're right to say us silicon valley guys should stop whining, stop whining and move somewhere decent. women here are simply not worth the effort

  66. You think maybe that the only women who are comfortable with and enjoy sex become prostitutes. They then only want to have sex with the most money. And it exposes the other 90% of women as unwilling to engage in sex. If there's some really rich guys the hot hookers no longer need to mess around with the lower echelon dudes. Actually even the ugly ones don't. It's pretty obvious when you look at numbers of sexual partners that a handful of women provide the bulk of the sex for the masses of men.

  67. Maybe the reason is that when there are too many dudes, they stop having any success and give up on talking. They then become more aggressive, but the women are being buried in propositions. If it goes too far, then the men give up on talking all the way and simply start trying to assert their sexuality. But as we all know, women do not generally taking kindly to pick up lines that begin and end with "wanna f**$?" or other such direct comments. Thus as the male population grows the female population seethes and feels harassed. thus everyone realizes their dream of total frustration.

  68. Forget San Francisco. A lot of hip, new bars have opened in Oakland in the last couple of years...and there are a lot of nice girls and women in them.

  69. Completely agree.

    London in the UK has the same problem.

    There are more men (I can't find any source but living here you can feel it).

    And women don't choose; they stay single!

    That's outrageous and doesn't make sense.

    It happens very often in London to be rejected by a very average girl.

    I have been to NYC on holiday and I was making a killing; one girl a day over 5 days.

    Gilles Francois

  70. I can't believe how unattractive the girls are in SF. Mix in a run and a salad. The only good thing is that the girls are smart and have jobs. It's absolutly mind blowing how physically unattractive the girls are in SF

  71. I think that it's normal when guys are looking for younger women, who needs old meat?

    1. "old meat?"

      No wonder you're single... ugh!!

  72. I am very interested in knowing why:

    A level headed, 34 year old woman, divorced once after 10 years of relationship with the same man, no children ( her ex doesn't want to have children), kind hearted, educated in child development field, makes a good living to support her own life style, works out , tall, wants children, and athletic build---after 2 years of dating, she hasn't find anyone to go steady with.

    The problem is not women being picky, I think these men she went out with are not ready to commit, and thinking they can do better. Grasses are not greener on the other side of the fence if we water, and cultivate the grasses in our own backyard.

    1. Sounds like woman looking for a relationship on a timetable. Let me guess, living together, then marriage, then the first child by 38? No pressure.

  73. SF can't possibly be as bad as Man Jose. I feel so bad for some of the guys down here. I think they deserve better and have more options than they realize. I would save up money to eventually move or find a woman from else where. NY, Ukraine, Russia, Anywhere where the ratio is in your favor or at least at parity. Don't do the dumb thing and settle down before knowing all your options. Don't throw good money after mediocre women.

    I'm not trying to diss our Bay Area women, but looking around at the couples who do get together, it makes no logical sense at all. Men judge women by their looks, women judge men by how much they make. If you have money, you have more options than you realize.

  74. I don't know which SF you people are talking about but go walk around union square and go to Old Navy and H and M where Women like to be, not a f**kin bar or club where the good ones hate to be.

    Bars and clubs already put men at a disadvantage because women know they're gonna be so overwhelmingly propositioned that they go very defensively due to the amount non-potential suitors that are lame which as a man I agree with .

    My generation (class of 94) needs to grow the f**k up, stop wearing baggy jeans like its still in, move out of mom's, step up your grammar and be a fuckin man.

    If you just walk around Union Square for 30 minutes you will pass by at least 500 girls that you can walk up to a girl waiting at the light and just say "hi my name is .... would like to meet for coffee?" I work down there and its crazy loaded with girls walking around. The average girl i see is like a 6 or 7

    Men stop crying, step your game up.

  75. The biggest problem here is not with dating in SF, but with men in general. A lot of men 20-35 don't understand women and the the way they think. Bear in mind women don't approach men,they position themselves to be approached by men. I've struggled with this in the past to the point where I purchased Double Your Dating by David D. I'm not here to promote however every guy that has trouble with girls needs to read that ebook. Its 20$ and Im sure you wasted more money on other useless things. It addresses a lot of core issues like insecure men and needienss that a lot of young men have. There are multiple generations of men that were raised by single mothers and our single mom's did the best they could but because of that we have a bunch wussies who hide behing their computers and are afraid to approach women. And if they do talk to a women theyre probably scared and don't know how. Bottom line, its all about odds. I just went out with a girl for drinks and she even said she wishes guys had the balls to kindly walk up and say "hi how are you my name is***, would like to get a drink sometime this week, whats your number , ill text you later"....done. Try doing that 50 times and im sure you will find at least 1 girl who likes you.

  76. Hilarious!

    Anonymous Female

  77. The truth is men are always complaining there are no eligible women anymore, not just in SF but all over the world. Why? United Nations reports that there are 57 million more men than women in the world and pretty soon it could climb up to more than 10 percent which might cause single men to commit crimes, especially rape and sex trafficking against married women, and start wars. But most families prefer to have a son over a daughter because he can keep the family name.

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  79. I'm a young attractive female and I just moved to the city. Everywhere I go, guys go crazy. I was in a bar last week talking to an attractive guy who worked in the financial when a hot German swooped in who owns a tech company. They proceeded to fight to win me over. They were both funny, engaging, and hot and I couldn't decide. So I left the bar, went outside and met another guy who is a baller and does pharm sales. But didnt give him my number because he didn't dress well. It's like this every Friday. In my hometown, I would have gone head over heels over any of them. But cool attractive men are everywhere in sf so it allows me to be picky. If I miss out on a sexy dude that owns companies, i don't care. I'll just meet another one the next night out. Also, it is really really expensive to live in Sf and challenging to find a job. Plus, it's a fact that working women are still paid less, hired less, and promoted less than male counterparts. Fewer pursue finance & tech as well. So in a pricey competitive city, women are bound to be boxed out. And let's be honest. It takes a great dealof effort to stay in shape and pamper. A career woman is less likely to have a rocking bod, cute haircut, nails did, flattering outfit, sweet tan, etc.

  80. If you are a single straight white guy in San Francisco and you can't get laid, it is because you ain't got no game.

    -Guy who dated at least 20 women during his 15 years of glorious singledom in SF

  81. Oh, btw, the idea that the ratio of straight single men to women is anything other than close to 1:1 is laughable. Look up the ratio of men: women in San Francisco county, the census has it at 100:103.

    There are also more gay men than gay women in San Francisco, skewing the ratio in men's favor even further.

    But what about married couples? Sure, every married man takes a married woman off the market. But since most people live near their spouse, this should cancel out.

    The only thing that might work against a younger man is that men tend to marry younger women. If you open your mind to the idea of dating an older woman, this should not be a problem for you.

    Plus you have this to look forward to: as you get older you will find more and more women in your dating pool.

    -Same guy

  82. I have lived in SF for nearly 3 years and since then have moved to NYC for exactly the reason discussed here. I have been absolutely relentless in my pursuit of girls in SF. I developed an ability to somewhat reliably get 1 or 2 phone numbers per day, while having talked to 10-15 women. But overall, compared to NYC, it has been an incredibly frustrating experience (almost not worth the effort). Vast majority of even moderately attractive girls you encounter in SF either have boyfriends or are lesbians. The single ones, if you can find one, are so fed up with being constantly hit on that they usually ignore you as well. Don't get me wrong, I've had a few positive experiences, but it was largely because I busted my ass working on my game, studied where to go and when, memorized seduction books and spent hundreds of dollars a month on drinks. Overall, considering the effort, it was not worth it. I left SF bitter.

    The situation is totally opposite in NYC, however. Everywhere you go there are beautiful girls, many of whom are single, friendly and very open to random conversation. It is common for girls to go out by themselves to cafes, restaurants and bars (this almost never happens in SF). Overall, it's a much more romance-friendly atmosphere here than the frigid SF. Almost like night and day. If you have trouble dating in SF, just move to NYC like I did and all your problems will go away, I promise.

  83. I've lived in SF now for about 6 months I can personally verify there is an extreme lacking of attractive females here. This has nothing to do with "game", it's that I barely even encounter ATTRACTIVE females.

    I do have a theory, that while admittedly reeking strongly of chauvinism, is very likely the reality we face in current day SF. The theory is this: It costs a lot of money to live here, and we have a culture in California of hot girls = dumb. Who here went to college? How many hot chicks were in engineering or computer science (the two fields driving population growth in SF)? California (hot) girls are almost always dumb. Thereby, hot girls cannot get high paying job, to live in the city.

    The likelihood that you will find a female in SF - low
    The likelihood that you will find an (physically) attractive female in SF - very low
    The likelihood that you will find an (physically) attractive AND intelligent female in SF - You have better luck finding a fucking Unicorn.

  84. Lol! The anonymous above me ur f**king right!

  85. Asian women go for white guys for servral reasons. Bigger you know what, and in general Asian men are shy and not romantic whatsoever. I dated several Asian men before and I was bored to tears as many of them were kind but so boring, and then another came from an old fashioned mindset and his father treated his mother like an indentured servant. Can you blame progressive Asian women for not wanting to have to deal with the closed minded, male dominated culture that exists in many Asian societies?

  86. "Oh, btw, the idea that the ratio of straight single men to women is anything other than close to 1:1 is laughable. Look up the ratio of men: women in San Francisco county, the census has it at 100:103."

    Your numbers are laughable. We're talking about -dateable- people here. The reason the country's sex ratio is 100:103 in "favor" of men, is because men die earlier than women. If you look at the men:women ratio in the youth years (18-35), men outnumber women nearly everywhere except the East coast. Facts. They're a bitch.

    1. Yep. To further this, here's a sad fact. Actually the higher percentage of women in the East Coast is due to older population living there. The ratio can be misunderstood due to the aging in that area, and women tend to live longer. The population in the West tend to have more younger people than the East coast. So if you are thinking of moving East Coast for that reason, think again. You might be looking at women above 65. LOL

  87. "Can you blame progressive Asian women for not wanting to have to deal with the closed minded, male dominated culture that exists in many Asian societies?"

    And you can blame progressive Asian men for not wanting to have to deal with the insecure, false-rumor spreading, frumpy Asian women that exist in America?

  88. I think the gender ratio is getting slightly haywire in many parts of the country, a good way to judge this is that on the find singles sites in USA there are men all around, women seem to be like a moon in the sky filled with stars. It surely is a women's world in this sense.

  89. I am a broke, massively overweight, mostly unkept, old, WHITE man. In areas with way too many men, I can land a beautiful girl/woman any day of the week. I have been with LA models, fitness fiends, wealthy, highly educated women, ad well as some of the "lesser" women. I has a hooker chase me for a year and a half(told her I didn't like her--not judging her by her profession. just didn't feel anything for her). In areas that are a bit nepotistic, I didn't do as well. I am thinking small town women need a bit more time. I am a bit indifferent about women. If they are willing to be friendly and talk, I talk. They ALWAYS make the first move.

    I am married to a super hot woman. I didn't marry her for her looks. There was something about her that cliqued with something within me. This was the first time I had ever felt that. We both felt it at the same time... At first sight.

    Guys, don't get discouraged. Get indifferent. Don't be that pushy single guy(turns them off you know). Be confident. Look her over quickly(without trying to hide it). Then pay attention to what she has above the neck.

    No pity partys. Break free from your friends that are not getting any. Never go places just to meet women(they can sense it). Go where you enjoy being. Have any idea how many marriages have come from people in those video game societies?

    The more peace we have, the more of a sausage fest it is going to be.

    Women, take advantage of the possibilities. 3-way mfm marriages are becoming very popular. Soon it won't be possible to survive in a male female relationship in the greedy USA. Imagine having 2 men to work and help around the house. Three incomes are going to be the wave of the future. Mark my words. Think about the gossip groups. "So sad, she can only land one husband" LOL!

    Good luck everyone. May you all find happiness!!

    1. "I am a broke, massively overweight, mostly unkept, old, WHITE man. In areas with way too many men, I can land a beautiful girl/woman any day of the week."

      very funny :-)

  90. You are not trying hard enough. There are many places where you can meet beautiful women for dating and fun.

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  93. Ahem..What's your problem now? Can't find a date or a fiancee? No? Soooo, basically you're a young man whining about not finding girls to sleep with. Oh, wait...fantasy women to sleep with.
    You are lacking emotional maturity, You sound like a 10 year old that didn't get the latest hover board for Christmas, but you know other kids did SOMEWHERE in the USA.
    You're racist, too. Why so focused on races? What is the point of your story? You don't like living here or am disappointing that model aren't hunting you down to sleep with you.
    Stop being being a spoiled, superficial brat. Bet you still live with your equally whiny porn-obsessed bros or your mommy and daddy.
    It's the not the Bay Area. It's not the women you can't "get."
    It's you. Time to make a break from that fantasy world of yours and face reality. People are not objects or sub-human, they are your species: They have the same desires, rights and responsibilities as you. Get used to it, or drop out of the human race. Believe me, we won't miss you.
    What third world country are you from again.