#9 UC Berkeley and Stanford

San Francisco's geographical proximity to Cal and Stanford means a few things. First, we must bear witness to the annual Big Game, an event wherein as part of a storied athletic rivalry the two schools meet on a football field and debate who has the higher IQ. Second, Stanford and Cal students move to San Francisco after they graduate and do so in large numbers, relative to other schools any way, and thus bring a particular personality type, look and attitude to the scene, in the same way that the more comely co-eds from ASU, USC and BU, for example, infiltrate and influence Phoenix, LA and Boston, respectively. 

 

The latter fact, in conjunction with the reality that Stanford and Cal alums look and act like nerds, explains why SF women seem, on the average, socially and physically awkward. Curiously, however, it doesn’t explain why SF guys complain about it all the time. SF women ARE unattractive, but SF men, also being Stanford and Cal alumni, are as ill-formed and featured as the women. Thus, the pairing of the equally unattractive genders should sort itself out neatly. (At least by the numbers and for that generation. God knows how unsightly the procreative output of such pairings would be. The poor transients of the Tenderloin would feel like Will Smith in I Am Legend).

 

The real cause for the complaint has to do with a gender divergence. For women education and professional success are really the same as height, in so far as men who have less than them are disqualified as potential mates. For men, on the other hand, things like earning potential, pedigree, and height aren’t first order sexual selection criteria. We like tall ones, short ones, Chico State drop-outs, and Yalies - as long as you’re cute, smart and bi-curious, we’re good to go.

This divergence has the following result: as women get more education and money, the pool of men appealing to them shrinks while as men get more education and money, the pool of women that finds them appealing grows. What San Francisco gets in the end is a city full of nerds, each gender thinking they are better than the other, and they are both right. 

It’s reasonable that women that went to Cal or Stanford do not want to date cell phone salesmen, firemen or cops and it’s also reasonable that they are not impressed by some dude’s fat investment bank/law firm bonus, since they got one as well. It’s hardly hot sh*t to dunk a basketball if your girl can slam it home from the free throw line. Of course it’s equally reasonable that male nerds are annoyed by female nerds’ lack of respect for their careers and salaries because male nerds know that there are throngs of cooler, prettier girls, in say Phoenix or LA, actresses, waitresses, assistant editors, etc., who get blown away by a dinner at PF Changs. 

So you can complain all day long that San Francisco is full of 5s and 6s who think they are 8 and 9s but the simple truth is that until the male and female nerds stop accusing each other of over-reaching, and stand up against the real enemy, the beautiful people, the bastards that have made them feel inferior all their lives, it’s an intractable situation.